


The Last Straw

by Inuy21



Series: Anders/Sadie Hawke [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, F/M, So much angst, conflicting emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 08:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11482653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inuy21/pseuds/Inuy21
Summary: Not only does Sadie have to choose a side, she's also forced to determine her lover's fate.





	The Last Straw

**Author's Note:**

> This was done for a prompt "I wish I could hate you" over on Tumblr.

Sadie was temporarily blinded and deafened by the large explosion. Noise came back to her in bits and pieces. Sebastian was screaming then praying behind her. She could hear Meredith’s voice since they stood next to each other but everything else was muffled. 

The ground rumbled with an aftershock and Sadie held out a hand to steady herself as she blinked. Bright spots swam before her and it took her a moment to realize it was fire—in the direction of the Chantry. Sadie squinted, not wanting to believe it was the Chantry. Her breathing stopped for a second as realization hit her hard and fast. 

Her head whipped around to pin a stare at Anders. There was guilt written across his features, his head drooped forward. As she continued to stare the scene deteriorated into even more chaos. Sebastian was quick to turn on the mage, accusing and demanding justice. Sadie would have thrown herself between them if it hadn’t been for Meredith’s threat. 

She was bellowing for the Right of Annulment on all the mages in Kirkwall. Thankfully Sebastian turned his attention on the Knight-Commander and argued that there was no need for such a drastic measure when they already had the murderer. Sadie bit her lip, flicking her gaze at her lover before joining in the shouting match. 

As Orsino joined in the argument, Sadie knew she was going to have to make a choice. It needed to be done, and sure enough before she could even put a stop to it both sides laid their causes at her feet. Orsino pleaded with her while Meredith continued her reasoning that all the Circle mages had to be killed. 

Without any hesitation or remorse she agreed with Orsino and the mages. They had done nothing wrong, though the Circle needed improving the Templars were just as much at fault for letting it get so bad. Plus, Sebastian was right that the person responsible for the death and chaos was right in front of them and not in a mage tower. 

Her heart stopped then stuttered back to life when Meredith ordered her guards to attack the group. This wasn’t the time to hesitate and with Orsino’s help, along with Sadie’s entire crew, the guards were dispatched easily enough. Then the hurt returned as Orsino thanked her, told her to meet at the Gallows, and left her to deal with Anders. 

Anders…fucking, Anders! Tears gathered in her eyes as Sadie remembered the questions he had blown off when she tried to confront him about the items they had gathered to get rid of Justice. The way Sebastian had so easily picked up on the mistrust between them afterwards—and truthfully even before then. Well, perhaps more on the shady way Anders was behaving, which few people would’ve been blind to if they had paid attention to the mage. 

She didn’t want to deal with it because it was another choice she didn’t want to have to make. Stalling wasn’t going to make the situation any better, though, and she needed to get moving so she could meet up with the mages before Meredith attacked. So gathering her strength of will, Sadie made her feet move in Ander’s direction.

He was sitting on a crate, legs bouncing, hands dangling from his knees, head down. He was worried—as he should be. It hurt. Every part of her body just ached. What was she going to do? What was she supposed to do? 

Sebastian wanted him dead and rightly so. She couldn’t blame the Chantry Brother for that line of thinking. Perhaps if she’d been more hardened or less in love with him she might have come to the same conclusion, but there was no way that Sadie could kill her lover. 

Oh Maker, could she even still call him that after this? It didn’t seem right, now, to think of him in that context. Though it was even harder not to think of him as the lover she had come to know over the years. Of course that man had slowly faded away over the last months, back into the shell he had been hiding in when they’d first met. 

Bile rose in her throat when she was a few steps away from him and he turned to look at her. He knew. His tawny brown eyes told her everything—that he expected to die then and there. It made her feet pause. Was that what he truly wanted? 

Sadie mentally shook herself. What he wanted didn’t matter and she knew that she couldn’t kill him—whether he deserved it or not. Stepping behind him, Sadie curled her hands into fists to keep from reaching for him. She felt like strangling Anders, but she was even more afraid of pulling him into a hug. 

“There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t already said to myself,” Anders said as he kept his head either ducked or looking straightforward. 

“Was this Justice’s idea?” She had to know, although she feared the answer as she stared at the back of his head. 

“No,” he answered steadily. “When we merged, he ceased to be. We are now one. I can no more ignore the injustice of the Circle than he could.”

Sadie closed her eyes and dipped her head. This wasn’t…. “Anders, if you would have told me I might have understood.”

His back straightened and his head jerked up a little higher, but he never looked at her. Before he could speak, Sebastian was there. 

“You would condone this? The brutal death of an innocent woman of faith? Someone you knew! Who trusted you!” Sebastian paced as he questioned. 

Sadie watched him carefully, ready to stop the archer if it came down to it. 

Anders shifted then said, “I wanted to, but what if you tried to stop me? Or worse, what if you wanted to help me? I couldn’t ask that of you.” He paused, shifted again. “The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending that the Circle is a solution.” He paused again, hands rubbing across his knees. “And if I pay for that with my life…then I pay. Perhaps then Justice would at least be free.”

Her hand twitched, but her heart and mind stopped it before it could move to the hilt of a blade. She hung head, scrubbed her face and felt blood smear over her skin. There was already too much killing of innocents, and though Anders wasn’t innocent he was someone she loved. 

“I wish I could hate you,” she muttered to herself, but when she caught Anders jerk she knew he had heard it, too. He seemed ready to turn to her, but she stopped him by saying, “Just go.”

Before Anders could even push himself up, Sebastian started in about letting the abomination go and how he wouldn’t stand for it. That he would go back to Starkhaven and bring an army back with him. 

Sadie whipped her head around and snarled, “Stay out of it, Sebastian.”

The archer turned on her, threatening justice on her precious Anders, but Sadie did her best to ignore him, to let him leave on his terms and not make things worse for the rest of her friends. From the corner of her eye she saw Anders stand, keeping his back to her. 

“Thank you, Sadie.” 

Anders half-turned his head to her, letting her catch one tawny eye and a small smile on his lips. It caused her to take a step back so she didn’t retract her words or request one last kiss from him. No, she had to let him go for now because she wouldn’t be able to focus if she allowed him to continue on with them. 

“I’ll try not to make such a mess of things this time around.”

Sadie said nothing as he walked away. She watched for a few minutes, letting herself enjoy the view one last time before she turned back to her friends and the mess that lay ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is mostly rehashing an in game scene, but I really wanted to add the emotions of my Hawke into it. And since I seem to be doing their relationship backward....The next thing I post for them WILL be some happy smut!
> 
> Comments and kudos/critiques are always appreciated.


End file.
